I don't think i've ever felt so awful and depressed in my whole entire life. The rally weekend yea was great of course, but then there was the down-side of it all...not meaning to get into it, but i think i've lost the bestest friend i could ever have. I'm trying not to lose faith and hope things work out but it's so hard to keep positive, but i just know i can't lose him. I've got to go drink some water to regain that which is lost from the body cells, and keep the storage up cause i know it ain't the end. It's like my worst nightmare has come through and right now my life feels in disarray :(

I'm also trying to occupy myself around the house, cause there's nowhere to go really, but that's hard too, just can't keep my mind off things. This incident occurred lastnight and after bout an hour or so, i finally made it to sleep at bout 2 am, and it didn't last long at all since i woke up at 5 and to think i was extremely tired. Every minute felt like an hour had passed, and each 'hour' i just had to suppress the tears that sometimes just persisted on flowing involuntarily.

GAWD, i just don't know what to do with myself, haven't even eaten for the morning/afternoon and my body doesn't even seem to register it. *sigh* i think i'll go watch "Signs" now.