I've not blogged in so long i think i gotto send out messages to peeps since they've probably stopped checking this site. Anyhow, i've just not been on the net and i came to some realisation that i mostly blog when something is wrong.

Life's been good recently (until yesterday). Skool is stagnant but not bad...been partying every now and then. Last week friday in xtreme was great besides the lil episode i had, and valentine's day was excellent altho i didn't get to go rally, but i didn't miss it that much :)

Now to what brings me to bloggin today, looking for some advice i guess
Everyone has fears and i believe that when needed to, we will try to confirm them and by what means necessary. I did it by checking or snooping is what others will call it. And despite i knew it would cause trouble i went ahead cause when i've got a gut feelin bout something, it usually turns out i'm rite. There's no wrong and right when it comes to these situations and that's why i'm not angry that someone has lied straight to my face (not once but many times) and of course they didn't know i knew the answers. But it's not what really caused me to snoop and caused that person to lie to me that gets me mostly..it's that they tried to convince me that they were telling me the truth even tho they knew they were lying to me. De ting just got me on edge...i couldn't sleep and my body wouldn't stop shaking. I asked that person the few questions after if they'd ever lie to me and they didn't answer at first...when later asked again, they said that they don't need to answer me cause they're telling me the truth.

And it buggin me cruel cause i hey thinking that everything that person has said to me i've believed...if i didn't find out myself, i would have believed this too, so what else have they lied so well to me about?! Hey i knew i was wrong, but i'm not sorry. But in a million years i never thought i'd be lied to by this person.

Of course now they aren't speakin to me, and i shouldn't want to speak to them but i ain like that...i'm wondering if it's the guilt that has them....or maybe it's what i did that has them so angry, maybe got them feelin as tho they're not trusted...that would be a laugh.