this week was really hectic tho, i've just been emotionally stressed, and now even my brain is tired..can't stop thinking about all the work i have to do in the following week. I'm only doing two subjects this term and yet i have more assignments, projects and presentations than any normal term with 6 or 7 subjects. So today i have to leave the house, either liming with some frens or going out, i'm not sure which as yet, but i know i need to put my brain at some rest..lord even today i had to make my way down to the library, sigh no rest for sophie...

anyhoo, about that last blog. i had just wanted something explained that was going on around me

Just so, how could one person, one girl have such a negative effect on most ppl i know, at first i wasn't bothering my head but in two days straight i got a complaint about her, and these ppl does just come to me and explain the matter to me..and to tell u the truth it actually makes me feel sane..story time

this bout the used-to-be-close friend of mine that i wrote about just in the last post, and after things went down-hill with us, i thought it was me, and after a while i totally forgot about it cause it was a waste of time to bother my head, so i moved on with my life, i say hi to her when i pass, but that is it, i have nothing against her or anything like that...but now i realize that it ain't only me, one by one ppl, no matter how close they are to her, would come telling me stories cause they knew how tite we were back then..but lord have mercy explain this situation to me cause i can't get it figured out..

y is it that it seems that all close male friends she have are her "property" so to speak...the girl gets on as tho she has to protect them or that they have to pay her more attention than any other girl they speak to, or even their girlfriend, now yes i had a run in with this same said situation, so have other girls and the male friends, how do i know all about these things when we don't even speak any more, well as i said, ppl does come to me..now i could understand if she cares so much that she'd want to protect them but lord she going at it in a strange way..

but it does freak me out, they are other things, but explain that one plz.

ok, so i had a few bad days recently, but things are much better now..i had a huge eye opener and i'm not afraid to admit when i've been really wrong.

So what if a few ppl got on my bad side, under my skin etc..it doesn't mean i have to dwell on it and let it ruin my life, i'm bigger and better than that but i guess i needed some reassurance. I nearly ruined something so special and in one day i realized everything that was wrong, or almost. The point is, i treated one dearest to me, how a used-to-be-close friend of mine used to treat me...when things around me aren't going well i took it out on the closest person to me, oblivious that i may be pushing them away, cause they are there for me but i was so angry at the world that i couldn't see it, or appreciate it as much.

So I realized it and i'm making lots of efforts, and i'm actually improving, at least to myself and for myself and others of course; can't let that special body get away, not just like that..

yea, i'm here to vent, so any readers who don't like angry posts u have your warning

honestly, i'm tired of being "the perfect friend", the one who would understand every single thing that goes on around her, the one that even tho something is bothering her, she'll sit and swallow it, won't say a word..i'm tired of that..shit i have opinions too, i'm human and i get frustrated..

i'm also tired of looking out for ppl b4 myself, i used to think that was a blessing when i was younger but i doan kno, do unto others as you'd have them do to u, i always followed that, i believed in that, but others doan do unto me how i do unto them, normally i'd say that's life, but i doan have to accept that

I ain't no friggin doormat..

i need to stop procrastinating for real tho, i've got a mid term tomorrow and i haven't even opened a book yet, well i've opened it but have i read? no..well let me rephrase that, i've tried to read but it's just not sticking, it's no use, my mind just isn't there, i think i need some motivation.

Well enough of selfpity, 2 Fast 2 Furious was aight, not hot..Tyrese was a good attribute to the movie, plot was tite 2 but overall it was just aight.

i honestly need to start remembering when father's day (and mother's day as a matter of fact) is, every single yr i have to ask when it's coming, then when the day arrives i doan even remember to say anything to him..oh well. This morning he gave me a kiss and told me thanks for a card that i never even saw, since my sister made it this time and then i helped prepare breakfast and that was his treat..doan think i'm a bad person really, i usually make the cards every yr :)

well that's it for now i guess, nothing really to write here, oh yesterday i beat the home thing, besides the fact that i didn't feel like going anywhere, nowhere to go really and no money, i figured that after the rally weekend i betta breeze b4 mums got anything to say..