Lately it feels as tho nothing is on my side...no matter what i look forward to, no matter what i do or what i plan, nothing gives...it's so very frustrating, i wonder what i'm doing wrong or better yet, if i'm doing anything at all right...i would really like to take my frustration on something at the moment, and my hand still hurts from slamming it on the wall :s

but hey, life ain't over right, ya's just hit some bumpy roads every once in a while...I try not to show how i'm really feeling at the time to save the other person's feelings, cause i know whatever it is, it isn't done on purpose,but i can't do it all the time, so i'm sorry if i make them feel bad...

Soph: frustrated & hurting..

I just love Eric Benet's songs, whenever i'm feeling low, or even if i'm feeling on top of the world, they set the mood no matter what...here's one i really love that reminds me of the past...Love the Hurt Away:

Now we've been friends girl for quite a while
I've never been the kind for beggin' and pleadin'
But I can tell by your hazy smile
All of his lies you've been finding are heavy on your mind

He broke your heart and he took your pride
Will you ever love again?
Though you try you don't believe it
Come over here talk to me a while
Girl if you tried you would find that

Someone like me simple and free
I could change your mind
I'll love you in places he couldn't find
Girl don't you see for the chance
I've been waiting for you to let me

Love the hurt away
(That's all I wanna do, baby)
Love the hurt away

If you ever did, girl you need me now
You don't need the complications of running to a stranger
So I'm coming over and I'll stay a while
Taking my time 'till I find that sparkle in your smile

Like a father's shoulder or a mother's arms
Girl I've always been the one
For strength and understanding
The rain will stop, the clouds will be gone
Girl if you tried you would find that

You're someone like me, simple and free
We're two of a kind
I can love you in ways no one has ever tried
Girl don't you see for the chance
I've been waiting for you to let me
Love the hurt away

Love the hurt away
(If you give me the chance baby I swear I'm gonna love ya)
Love the hurt away
(For so many years I've been waiting for this night, baby)
Love the hurt away, love the hurt away

I been there for you and you for me
Better friends we'll never find
Nobody really knows you (knows you knows you)
No baby not the way I do, no (you know it's true oooh)
We could miss an opportunity for what we've both been trying to find
And girl it's time I told you (told you told you)
And all I ever really really needed or
I ever really wanted was to love you

Love the hurt away
Love the hurt away
Love the hurt away
Love the hurt away
Oh, love

I feel as tho i have a friggin hangover..that feeling when you're not quite there...well God knows why cause i sure don't..

I wish i weren't able to let things bother me as they obviously don't bother other persons...and as my best friend said, quoting from her " it's high time there was a user manual for love...or a troubleshooting...or even a help button...'for your problem, do such & such...has your problem been fixed? If no, do this & that' :s

I know life is all about changes rite, but what really happens when the change occurring gives one person the short end of the stick??? What if the change occurring is conducted by only one party and it hardly affects them? I mean yea, changes usually affect all parties involved, but at times, one party is affected more than the other is...but i guess that's life right, and you have to deal with it !?

hmmm, it's soon 12 and this man hasn't called me yet..oh well i might just be eating lunch by myself today, gine treat myself today with something reaal nice too...shrimp :) yum yum

Finally, my folks are out of the island..tho for a short while, it's still a blessing, now this what is called freedom to some degree. I've practically got the car all to myself, but yet there's no where to go :( Just got home from my one hour class and decided to do a lil with my blog, as time goes by i'll learn more and do more, but for now...just changing the fonts.

now don't think i'll get into any mischief while de peeps gone, i have nothing to hide from my parents..but a lil extra fun cain hurt de soul, right hehehe

Will i ever get rid of this cold, shit man...just when i thought i was getting better my throat acts up again. I really don't understand, b4 this i was taking my centrums..stupse.

I wish i had a real life honestly, wish i could be busy like some ppl i know, i need something new to do with my life...when you have too much free time you tend to get carried away with thoughts and find things to think bout that don't need as much credit given. I have at least one class a day, excluding wednesdays and that's a bit too much free time for real. My best friend goes c'mere so she doesn't have free time like i do, my other friends have classes scheduled different to mine and my pookie works plus is busy with other activities..so on a day i really doan have anything to occupy my time with. You said school work? Well not much there, plus i finish most on a day too which leaves the rest of the day just to myself, yippee!! Loss, this can really bring a girl down & out :(

I have to give props to those who live a busy life in trute tho...the ones that are able to really balance out the things they have to accomplish on a day, plus the ppl they have to see (like moi :D..oohhh, doan i feel fussy) anyhoo, i know it hard most de time, so letting you know it's mostly appreciated :)

me out

The #1 thing that i thought would have made me worse during the night actually allowed me to get up feeling refreshed this morning (plus saving my ass during the night from de vampires)...my fan :)...yea i know i took a big risk there considering my condition but life's all about risks, or a better term i like to use: trial & error. Nothing wrong with trying new things, i learned this from my chemistry classes :)

So, it's Mother's Day and I have not one thing planned for my mom, hopefully my father would do something for her, after all, i'm not feeling a 100% remember...but hey, at least i gave her a lil early gift..a lil bit of my flu, but that was only for a day, she got over it in a few hours unlike certain ppl :( Well i really had nothing to look forward to for this entire weekend, except the fact that my sister was out of the island for the Jazz Festival in St. Lucia, but hey hopefully things will change by this afternoon since my bestfriend promised she'd come over and keep my company, yeeaaaa :)..

May 21 is fast approaching, and i'm highly looking forward to that date..since it's a wednesday and i have no classes those days i'll be at that ticket office from early o'clock to get my Matrix Reloaded tickets, but the only thing i have to fear are the lil picknies that will probably be there since there will be no school for them either cause of the use of the secondary schools as polling stations. Talking about polling stations, one Freundel Stuart was at my street corner lastnight and of course since i couldn't get to sleep (which btw brings me to realize he could have been the other cause) i ended up listening to him after i failed to ignore his drony ass voice...but he made some really interesting points lastnight about the BLP, hmmm ...of course the ppl in my house always route for the BLP, but i'm feeling really sceptical bout them, then again i feel sceptical bout the whole politician escapade completely, so i just think to save confusion and time of course, i'll just not vote.

Anyhoo, i going and hold some grub, hmm i love sundays :)

Honestly i feel so miserable, and i doan know if i should really be feeling this way, as a certain person would constantly tell me, " ya livin "...but really, who are they to tell me i'm exaggerating, after all it is me who in it...plus they don't have the flu to complain bout, plus the irritability, the lack of sleep and bout everything else that comes along with it. Then there's the taking of medication, which brings along the queasy feeling, the drowsiness (not like i complaining to sleep) and the incapability to think straight..plus i must mention the feeling of constantly being hot, and since I can't sleep with a fan, i have to also put up with the blood-suckers.

So yea, that's why i'm here at 3 in the morning infront the only thing that is keeping me company right now...but you know, there is one thing i have thought of that is a real good side to this, I just realized i didn't have to lift a finger around the house for the week...

But then there's also my mother who blames me for not being able to keep money in her purse since she had to pay up for the check in to the Doc..of course after confirming her own diagnosis, but hey, anybody'll be scared knowing that thing SARS loose bout the place...she still tells me how it would have taken care of itself, but little does she know i had other reasons to get rid of this thing as soon as possible..(whisper) ya see, she an' muh fadda gine way this week an' i really wanted ta be up n' runnin so i cud enjoy it de best way possible :d, but sshhh, keep dat pun de down-low

Anyways i out for now, i must say i'm feeling alot better since 10, and i can't really blame it on the medi this time, but that's another story...